Study Hall

Hey friends. I'm in study hall right now. Bored. Sometimes in study hall I sleep or do homework or go to the band room, but today I feel like talking to my friends. Lucky you. I have math homework that's due in like two hours, but I can do that at lunch. 
For an update, Jazmen has not had her baby yet. I worked through some stuff on my own and figured out that I really don't want to wallow in it anymore, so this is basically a written statement of me letting it go. I found out yesterday that the funeral for Larry is on Saturday. So I get to spend a whole day of awkward conversation with family that I would like to be closer to, but am not because they suck. Yeah, my family really could use some counseling, but I don't think any amount of talking about our feelings could amount to anything good. Especially if everyone's there. I just hope for Jacob and Chris's sake that everyone can just get along so they have one less thing on their mind. 
I don't really know what to say.... It's really warm out today! Like in the 80's. And for my German readers, if you don't know, its really warn, especially for Wisconsin right now. Like it seriously snowed in April. But that's Wisconsin weather for you. So I'm wearing shorts. As uncomfortable I am with my chubby legs (:/) I didn't want to be burning up. I also realized that this blog is just a play by play of my life. Not really a whole lot of 'figuring things out,' is there?
But that's okay. Though today I do want to talk about someone who used to mean the world to me. His name is Victor. He lives in Canada. We got super close and talked all the time. He is older than me, but he is one of, if not, the nicest guy I have ever met. I could talk to him about anything and he would completely understand. Seriously, he was my punching bag, shoulder to cry on, and comedian when I needed one, but there was no one there for me. We don't talk anymore, because I changed. Well, first I was upset that he just stopped talking to me, without telling me why. Then when I heard that, I was, and still am, upset that he doesn't realize that people change. I don't understand what's so hard to understand about that. I mean don't get me wrong. I am totally and completely against any sort of change, but I work through it instead of running away from it. 
Yeah, so I have a feeling you will be hearing more about him in days to come. I might even make a whole blog just about him, but for this study hall hour....
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

Germany!

Hey y'all! So I was looking at my page views a little while ago, and guess what?! Carrots are orange! Haha, that's not it. I have viewers in Germany! You have no idea how excited I was. Like I have people in Germany who are reading my blog! I almost peed my pants. 
I just want to say, for anyone really, that you can leave me comments, and tell me where your from. I so excited and really want to learn a little bit more about my readers. Just tell me a little about yourselves. Or a lot. Any messages will be read and hopefully commented on, if I can. Hit me up u guys! And like always...
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

It's Been a While

Hey sexy chickadees. How's it going? Its been awhile. I've missed you:/ but I'm back. Not sure where to start, or what to say, but I'll just start with Larry. He is my great uncle. He died on Saturday. I wasn't very close to him nor his sons, but his older son, Jacob, was there with him, so I feel bad for him. Yeah, so that's sad.
My mom just told me that we're having these three girls over tonight. We've known them forever and they're like little sisters to me, but I really don't think that I can handle them, emotionally or mentally. What I would like to do is sit in my room like the hermit I am, and when I asked my mom if i could, she said "If you want to be an unsociable b****." The conversations we have are really meant to be in my house.  Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are bad, and sometimes they are....yeah.
I made a new friend too. His name's Brian. He gets mad when people call him Brain. Wisdom did actually and he got mad.  Brian actually saw me and Wisdom walking together one day and freaked out. But I still made a friend in him. Then Rheannan happened. I love her, but she needs to be up on the newest guys. And Brian's not even new! He's been in band all year. So they started talking and I guess they like each other, but she needs a male-counterpart to help run her life and a rebound guy, and he needs female attention. Sounds great.
I don't really have much to say right now, I might talk later when the girls come, but for now....
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

Hey there!

Well hello there! It's been a few days since we've talked. I've been busy. School and homework and church and fun stuff like that. I don't really have much to say. I texted my sister and asked her how she's doing, and she had the nerve to be mad at me. I didn't do anything, wrong, I was honest with her. I'm not really in the mood to complain about it, and there really isn't much else to say.
Well, I guess there's another thing. Today, I was leaning against a locker, and Wisdom was about to kiss me. He was leaning in, and all of a sudden, a friend of ours, Logan, stuck his face in between us and totally interrupted us. I was so upset, and in the end, Wisdom only ended up kissing my cheek:(. I was upset.
And yesterday, we made up a new word. It's 'slunt.' I don't want to say what it is, because it is a mixture of two very naughty words, but if you figure it out, leave me a comment and let me know:). 
There isn't much else that has happened in the wonderful world of my life. So for now, I'm going to go eat dinner. We're having a pasta/chicken/cheese/thing dinner. Until next time....
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

Siblings

So today I figured out that I will never live up to Noah's expectations of me. I try to be the best sister I can be but sometimes I would love to wring his neck. He starts things with Anthony and I have to end it. Either he touches Anthony and hurts him, or says something mean, and then Anthony gets upset and Noah doesn't care and I have to fix Anthony. 
And on days like this instead of hurting him, I'd like to just punch my door, which is hardwood. Yeah, that wouldn't work out very well. I'd end up with a broken hand and probably a huge hospital bill that my mom would be upset about. So yeah, we're not going to do anything to any children who are in a lower grade than me. But that doesn't say anything about boys who are my age or older. 
Hmm, Wisdom. He is my first real boyfriend and EVERYONE is making a huge deal out of it. I mean, you don't have anything that resembles a relationship and when you get something that could turn into one, everyone spazzes. Like 'omg, she has a friend who's a boy!' Dumb. Oh well, but that doesn't make me stop liking him any less. He's really nice.
So not on the topic of boys, but I had a meeting today and found out that I have 3 F's in school. I did not realize that... that means I can't be a part of the play.  But I have commitment issues and don't really care anymore.
And on another topic, my sister. I have a feeling she will be coming up a lot in the future, so I'll explain her now. Her name is Jazmen. She's 21. She is my half sister because we have different moms. Until she was 10, she lived with me. But then she moved. She never had the best life, but instead of breaking away from it all, she let it define her. For a while we were talking a lot and I thought we were getting really close. And one week we talked every day.  I was really excited. Until that Thursday. I found out that she moved 400 miles away, and didn't even bother telling me. And when I called her and asked her about it, she lied to me. 
I cried for days, and reconsidered how much I was loving people. I loved Jazmen with all my heart, and through all her boyfriends and screw ups, I stuck around and she only ended up breaking my heart. Great. So I've basically lost all my ambition to do anything, and i don't want to say it's her fault. It could also be the depression I suffer from, but I've decided to send her letters, as much as I see needed, and tell her everything she needs to know. It could be two letters or 200, but she needs to know how I feel. I realized only a little too late after I sent the first one, that she wasn't going to be responding, and changed my mindset to stop thinking about me and start thinking about her.
Too much sappy and not enough happy, I know, so until tomorrow....
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

Its Sunday

whats up chickadees! It's Sunday, and I'm just chilling here after church.  I've already done a bunch of chores and am ready for bed. Oh, but it's only 2 o'clock. Today I thought I'd tell you a little about myself.  

My name's Mikayla. I'm fifteen. I have two brothers, Noah (13) and Anthony (6). My parents are divorced so I have three parents, since my mom remarried.  I have two dogs, Andre and Scotty, who I love very much. Andre's a little chubber, and Scotty is his slim counterpart.  

I won't get into a lot of deep stuff today, but in short, I have suffered from depression for 2 years, and last December it got.... bad.  I'm getting better though. I love music, as you can tell from the name of the blog, and love anything to do with it.

That's just about all you really need to know about me at the moment, so until tomorrow-

Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)

Pilot

Hey there! my name's mikayla leone. im just a girl with a computer who wants to put my thoughts out there. there is so much to say in one post so i wanted to create a blog so people know that theyre not alone. ive been through plenty and want people to know about it. ive told plenty of people i know, but maybe getting everything out there, people will look at people like me a little differently. 

i suffer from depression and am an introvert, and in this day and age, people have to be happy and extroverted to be noticed. well i want to change that. and i plan on doing that one day at a time. so if you want, please join me in the journey in self discovery and possible world changing.

i plan on having a different topic every day but some days may just be rants. we'll see but for now

live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)