The Butterfly Project

Happy Wednesday everyone! So yesterday I learned about this really cool thing called the Butterfly Project. It's to help support people who do self harm and help them find their way back.
The idea is simple. The self-harmer simply draws a butterfly on their place(s) of self-harm and, if the butterfly fades without them self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving them a sense of achievement. Whereas if they do self-harm with the butterfly there; they will have to wash it off. If that does happen, they can start again by drawing a new one on. What I like to do, is name my  butterfly after someone I love, so I have a purpose and a legitimate reason not to do it. 
Something else you could do, is if someone you know self-harms, you can draw a butterfly on your arm or wrist for them in hope that they won't self-harm. I find this to be a very good way of stopping myself from wanting to cut, and actually have two butterflies right now. They're Deb and Jack. 
I guess since I'm on the subject of self-harm, maybe I'll tell you a little bit more about myself. Last December, I got really bad. I spent more time in my room than out of it, and was so depressed. I didn't want to kill myself, I just didn't want to be alive. I started thinking about ways to do it, and just got to the point where I felt like I had something growing inside of me, so I cut to kill it, so it wouldn't kill me. It felt like my only release at the time. And I felt better every time after I did it. For some reason, I always had music playing when I did it. And I think it was actually like Pandora.  Yeah so now I look at my scars and remind myself that each and every scar has it's own story and the fact that they healed reminds me that things do get better. 
There are some days now where I just feel like staying home in my room all day and just sitting there. But I know if I do that, it will get to that point again of wanting to cut. And I might just do it too because that's what happened when I had my last relapse. So now I try to spend as much time as possible out of my room with my family or dogs, and just try to focus on the positive things in life. And I personally think that that's a lesson everyone should learn, that no matter how negative things seem, we need to find that positive light that is flickering somewhere. Because there is always hope in even the hopeless of situations. 
Wow. Deep. I know. But I think I'm gonna go:) love you guys
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)