It all started in sixth grade. That's when I met (for the sake of keeping their name's secret, we're going to call him Bob) Bob. It was at a lock in at church and it was the first time I met him. He was attractive, yes, but he also had a fabulous personality. He was funny and down to earth and just plain sweet.
As the years went by, I started to see more and more of him and we started to get closet. Now, mind you that I've had feelings for him since the night I met him.
Now fast forward to last Friday night. (I could break into song, but I'm trying to be serious) He was there, but also my best church friend, Kat (keeping her name secret). I told Kat that I have had a crush on Bob for three years, and she encouraged me to tell him so.
So I put it off, and eventually told him how I felt about him. Then he followed by saying how if I had said something to him earlier, we might have had a very good chance of dating, since he felt that way about me as well.
Yeah, so fast forward about 10 hours, and he's leaving and gives me a hug (make my insides smile) and leaves.
Then that night, I'm texting him and Kat at the same time. After a while and a break in the conversation, he starts asking about her. Yeah, great. So I answer his questions, like a good friend, and give him her number when he asks for it. At the same time, I'm telling her all about it.
Me: So hes asking about u right now
Kat: whats he saying?
Me: he wants to know if you trust me and i told him that idk i believe u do
Kat: ok
Me: so i have a question for u. sister to sister. answer totally honestly, do u have a crush on bob?
Kat: yes i do. i realized it last night while we were playing ping pong together.
Me: ok
Kat: im sorry, u told me u liked him and so i didnt want to say anything
Me: its ok, hes still asking about u
Kat: whats he saying?
Me: he asked for your number
Kat: u can give it to him
And that's basically how the conversation went. Carried on with me not knowing if he texting her and then giving her his number and her and I didn't talk for the rest of the night. And we used to talk everyday, but now, we don't talk at all. Only because I don't want to get upset with her. Or even take the chance of her talking about him and me not wanting to hear about it.
And the best part about this whole thing, is that I get to see them both tonight. Him first at Youth Group, then her later at Confirmation. And what makes this whole situation even better is that, last Friday, was the first time they met AND she had a boyfriend and still does.
Now that carries me over to my next big delema. Kat is kind of a player. She goes from guy to guy and breaks hearts along the way. And Bob is very fragile. I've come to realize this about him. He gets hurt easily. And he also likes long relationships, not short lived ones.
So my question is: how to I express my worry and caution to him about her morals with guys, without making it seem like I'm trying to keep them away from each other? I really need to figure that out before tonight.
Plus something else that I have to figure out, is how to talk to Bob. Let me explain. On Monday, I was talking to my friend Lily (hiding her real name) about this. And she decided to go and friend Bob on Facebook. And I guess yesterday, he excepted. And they talked. Yeah, great. This is my understanding of how the conversation went:
Lily: Hey
Bob: do i know u?
Lily: yeah, im a friend of mikayla
Bob: oh hi, whats up.
Lily: i just wanted to tell u that it want cool of u to ask mikayla for another girl's number while u know mikayla likes u
Bob: i didnt think it would bother mikayla
Lily: yeah, shes pretty upset
Bob: oh
And that's where my understanding of my conversation ended. And last night on Facebook, Bob posted something about being very stressed.
Last night:
Me: everything ok?
Bob: ya ill ttyl gonna finish up a show and go to bed
Me: alright
Today after hearing about Lily talking to Bob:
Me:What's going on?
Bob: what do u mean?
Me: on fb u said u were upset. U ok?
Bob: stressed very
Me: Wanna talk about it?
Bob: Tonight.
So now I have no idea what to go off of, or what to expect. Yeah, great. So I have to deal with two people, my feelings, and my problems. All of which, I don't want to do. So if anyone has a passport and one way ticket out of this place, let me know please.
Um, so in other news. I got a hair cut!!! I'll post a picture when I get home so I don't look like a dork taking pictures of myself on my laptop in the middle of study hall. I am also wearing a skirt. And this NEVER happens. Like this is a big deal. I am also wearing make up. I haven't worn make up all week. So everyone's kind of freaking out. I'm not totally sure why, since I'm the one who got my hair cut, and is wearing make up and a skirt, and not them. But oh well. People can get excited over whatever people want to get excited over.
Well that was a mouthful and plenty for you to read. And since I just spent 45 minutes talking about my love life, I should probably go. Like always
Live long and love life my sparkly cupcake unicorns:)
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